When someone passes on, they leave behind those who will grieve for them. At Kazique, we believe that the best way to grieve is to celebrate the life of the person that has passed. It can help to create long-lasting permanent memories of the person that we loved and help us appreciate their influence in the life that we continue to lead.
A thorny question
Yet, even when a life in passing is celebrated rather than marked with a dour funeral leading to a coffin there is a thorny question that may arise during the event.
“Who has the right to grieve?”
Grief is personal. It is hard to explain how someone can feel grief over the loss of a stranger but they can. Celebrities, for example, may provoke mass outpourings of grief from people that they never even met or spoke to.
You don’t have to be famous for this to be true either. People mourn the loss of others who they barely come into contact with, those they know through a friend of a friend, and so on.
It’s important to note that no matter how trivial someone’s grief may appear from a distance; it’s very real to them and everyone has a right to grieve.
There is no hierarchy in grief. The loss of a parent is not more or less than the loss of a friend or a child. Each of us feels grief uniquely and each individual’s grief has genuine validity.
Celebration rather than mourning
Once we understand that everyone has the right to grieve no matter what their relationship with the deceased, it can be useful to think about how that grief can be put to the best use.
If we accept that the person who passed away would not want the people they loved to be sad and unhappy, then we can appreciate that traditional displays of funereal grief may not be the best way to honour their wishes.
Together those feelings of grief can create feeling of comfort and warmth for each other. Instead of harnessing grief for sorrow, it can be brought together to become more than the sum of its parts and deliver an abiding memory of a life that has been truly lived and touched hearts.
The right way
There is a different approach to grief. It’s one where you make choices about how you want to be remembered by the ones you love. It’s one where your life is celebrated by those affected by your passing rather than treated as an end.
We don’t compete in celebration. We don’t ask “who has the right to feel love?’ and we don’t try and quantify whose love is worth more, we accept that these things are different and that all love has value.
You never think that you’ll be the one fighting over grief or organising a funeral. It’ll happen when you least expect it. When it does we’re with you every step of the way to make sure that the life that has passed is marked with a celebration that will be remembered forever.