It’s just not something you hear very often, “let’s talk about my death.” We’d rather talk about anything but our demise. We’ll happily discuss the sewage system for hours with a stranger than knuckle down to the nitty-gritty of shuffling off this mortal coil.
Yet, there are some really good reasons to have this talk now rather than when the time comes:
- You can get a will sorted out and reduce possible stress when things get difficult
- You can choose how you will be cared for and what your desires for that care are
- Most importantly, you can help the people that you will leave behind with practical considerations
Still Not Fun
Yes, we agree. When we present it in bullet points, it’s still not a fun conversation is it? Wills, hospitals and dramas? That’s what we watch television for, so that there’s a fourth wall between us and ‘it’ – the big D word – Death.
A Positive Starting Place
If you want to make this conversation fun, you have to start from a different place from the standard “end of life” expectation. This doesn’t have to be about funerals and sadness. It can be about you and the way you lived, instead.
You don’t want to leave those you love sobbing around a casket do you? You want them to remember you and the joy that you created together.
So begin with that in mind. Talking about death shouldn’t just be about the practicalities, it should be about celebrating a life.
Now, think about the people that matter to you and the people you matter to. What are the best memories you have together? What are the moments you shared that made you laugh, the moments that you look back on with delight even if they were hard at the time, the things that bring true happiness to you?
Start by talking about that. Embrace the best of life and use it to confront death. We will all pass away but our lives don’t end at that moment. They continue in the hearts and minds of the people that remain.
Wills, hospitals, funerals, practical considerations, they are all important but only in the context of respecting ourselves and loving the people around us. Starting from all the positives in life lets us deal with the admin more easily while we seek to create a Life Celebration that will live on.
It’s healthy to reflect on the happiness earned and challenges overcome in our lives. It’s something that we should do more often and sure, there’s death in life, but that’s the smallest part of things. It’s your life that matters more and the people in that life.
Start talking, start laughing, start feeling and it won’t be so bad, in fact, we’ve found that these conversations can be real fun when you pluck up the courage to begin. If you need help getting started, you can always call us – we’ve some experience in making sure that this is fun.